Stay Grounded in Presence and Being
from "Fearproof Your Life"
Staying grounded in our true Selves keeps us in a state of profound presence and awareness. Being grounded means that we are actually living from the true Self—not just believing that it is a good idea. We are congruent with our Being. We are an embodiment of the truth of who we are. This security in who we are is like a tree whose roots are firmly planted in the ground, able to withstand strong winds of adversity. It keeps us from entering other persons’ “reality” and taking on the resulting feelings of fear and anxiety they are experiencing. Staying grounded in our true Selves prevents us from triggering our own thought system similarities to the other person’s thoughts and commiserating with their predicament. Instead, we relate to their innate Spirit that has the power to transcend the situation and see solutions.
When a child is frightened by the dark, the natural parental response is to reassure the child, hold them with affection, and remain calm while they are upset. Most parents don’t take on their child’s irrational fears. Over time the child will lose his fear of the dark through persistent, calm reassurance from his parents.
This same principle applies to adult situations. For many years I worked with hospitals and clinics to teach health care professionals how to remain calm with patients who were extremely emotional or in life-threatening situations. I taught these professionals how to “be with” the person in pain by listening deeply to them, feeling compassion, and then doing their jobs (mending a wound, performing a surgery, administering medication).
Over the course of time, the level of staff burnout and stress decreased significantly while patient satisfaction reports went up dramatically. Of course, the hospital always intended to be a caring institution, but under extreme stress the staff had lost their bearings (grounding). From that negative state of mind, the staff ignored their patients, became calloused, quit listening, and lost most of their compassion. Because they judged their patients and took their emotional states personally, the staff had no immunity from patients’ negativity. They suffered from what is now a popular term in medical circles—“compassion fatigue.” By empowering themselves through understanding how they and everyone else creates their experience via their thinking, they were able to return to the caring people they had been before they became burned out.
The staff at the hospital I worked with also became immune to other staff members’ negativity. They discovered how not to get caught up in the gossip that was always flying around the conference rooms. By remaining in their true Selves, they were able to listen compassionately to their coworkers. They also knew when to walk away and not participate in the gossip and fearful projections so common in these types of institutions. The entire culture shifted from one of negativity, stress, and anger to one of calm, caring, and compassion.
Like the hospital personnel, we have the ability to be with others who are in a state of fear or other negative emotional states and not catch their “mental flu.” Remaining grounded in our true Selves allows us to listen deeply and feel compassion when we are with others who are in pain without sacrificing our healthy state of balance.
